One day, I went to a party, naandoon yung mga pinsan ko at mga friends.
Suddenly, may lumapit sa akin na isang guy… and smiled at me. I called it killer smile.He talked to me and said“how are you?
and I just replied. “Ok naman. I enjoyed the party.”
That guy is our family friend, nag-iba na kasi yung itsura niya. Dati sobrang taba at maitim. Until I saw him again na sobrang gwapo. Specially when he is smiling.
We have a communication now, even I keow he has a girlfriend for five years yata… even he knew from the start that I have a cerebral palsy… I can’t walk and can’t move my hands easily because my hands are spastic.
Everytime I see him, he makes me smile. He makes my day complete.
I am starting to like him… he is always in my dream. We always send text messages.
I want to tell him my feelings… pero ayoko… baka makasira pa lang ako ng ralasyon at ayokong masaktan…Maybe kakalimutan ko na lang siya… may nakatakda para sa akin at hihintayin ko na lang iyon…
One day, my mother told me that he (killer smile) invites us to the party of his mother.I said to my mother, “Ayoko, Mama. Huwag mo na tanungin kung bakit ayoko.She didn’t ask me a question. But alam ko na takang-taka siya. But she said to me
“Kaibigan natin sila. Pumayag ka na magpunta tayo.
I knew that his girlfriend is there, but for my mother we will still go to the party…So my mother and I went to the party… sinalubong agad kami niya kasama yung girlfriend niya… he smiled at me w/ that killer smile.
So… pinakilala niya sa amin yung girlfriend niya…
I just smile at her but I am not happy.
Mean while, during the party goes on. I am looking at him and his girlfriend. They are so sweet and I think he is happy w/ that girl. I feel so jealous about the girl.
After the party, I went to my room and I said to my mother that I want to sleep, pero buong magdamag ay umiiyak lang ako. Iniisip ko siya buong magdamag. I am thinking kung bakit bumalik uli itong feelings ko sa kanya.
But after that day, I realized na hindi lang dapat siya ang isipin ko lagi… magpapapasyal na lang ako kay Mama sa mga pinsan ko at sa ibang friends ko… dapat maging happy naman ako… and I just decided na maging masaya ako para sa kanya.
After a month, I got recovered from the sadness emotion. And I want to be happy even I have a cerebral palsy. I forgot the man who make me cry.
One day, I visited my cousin ( best friend) in her bakeshop because I missed her. At nagkukwentuhan kami habang nagtitinda siya…
She told me, Killer Smile and his girlfriend broke up. “Friend, I have a good news for you. Killer Smile and her girlfriend broke up because the girl has a # 2. Kawawa naman yung love mo” My cousin said.
“Friend, that is not a good news. Oo nga, kawawa naman siya. Yung nakita ko nga sila noong party ng Mommy niya, masaya naman sila.” I replied to my cousin.
While we were talking, a costumer came… I look to the costumer and I saw “Killer Smile”.“Hey, musta ka na? Tagal na natin hindi nagkikita.” He said to me and he smiled.
I just smiled and I said, “I am ok. Binibisita ko lang yung pinsan ko. Ang tagal na namin hindi nagkikita.”Killer Smile said, ahhh… ganoon ba. Napadaan lang ako para bumili ng cake. Sige, aalis na ako.” he just smiled at me and waved his hand and said, “Goodbye.”
After that, kinulit ako ng kinulit ng pinsan ko. And she said, “Uy, Friend! Kinkilig ka noh? Single na siya… may pag-asa ka na maging boyfriend si Killer Smile.”
“Friend, hindi na ako umaasa noh. I will be her friend if he wants. And I don’t want to cry again.” I said to my cousin.
One day, my mother take me to the bath room and fix me up with a wonderful clothes.And I just ask, “Mama, why do you dressed me this way? Do we have visitors?”
“Yes, Anak. We have a visitors. Your Tita and his son (Killer Smile) are coming. Magpaturo lang siya sa akin gumawa ng carbonara.” My mother said.
After an hour, they came. Tita and my mother go to the kitchen, while Killer Smile and I are having a conversation.“I knew na pinapag-usapan na ako ng mga tao tungkol sa break up namin ng ex ko. Totoo yung mga chismis na iyon, Niloko niya ako.” He said while he was crying.
I just ask, “Bakit mo sinasabi sa akin yan? Ganyan talaga, pero makakahanap ka rin ng babaeng magmamahal sa iyo ng totoo at hindi ka iiwan.”And he replied.
“Wala kasi ako mapagsabihan. Yung mga friends ko, mas pinapaniwalaan pa nila ang ex ko kaysa sa akin. Ang hirap makalimutan. Ang sakit ng puso ko. More than 4 years we had a good relationship but now, pinagpalit niya lang ako sa ibang lalaki”He was crying while he hugged me.
And I just said. “Makakalimutan mo rin siya. Hindi siya ang nararapat sa iyo. Niloko ka niya.”
After that moment, we aet the carbonara cook by our mothers.
One day, Killer Smile called me. “Pwede ba tayong mag-dinner bukas?” he said.
I just replied, “Wait lang. Tatanungin ko muna si Mama ko.” and I asked my mother.
“Sige. Pero dapat kasama mo yung pinsan mo.” My mother said.
I just texted my cousin / best friend and she said “Ok.”
The next day, Killer Smile picked me up to the restaurant. But my cousin can’t be going to us because she was sick. I am half emotion, sad because my cousin is not going w/ me and happy because Killer Smile and I going to the restaurant. The restaurant is so good and it was romantic.
While we are eating, Killer Smile give me a necklace. And I was shock. I just asked him, “ Para saan itong necklace na ito?“
"Thank you for everything you have done for me. I recovered because of you and I forget my ex-girlfriend because of you. That necklace symbolizes our friendship.” Killer Smile replied.
“I am thankful too because I found you, I can tell you my secrets and thanks for the bonding we had.” I said.
After that day, I never removed the necklace he gave me.
I am starting to like him again. Everyday he visit me at my house and sometimes he give me flowers.
But one day, he said to me that he and his ex back each other again.“What? She betrayed you. You forgive her? Why?” I asked him.
“Yes, I forgive her because I love her.” Killer Smile replied.
I was crying beside him and I said him, “I am starting to love you. I don’t know why I am telling you this but this what I feel.”
I don’t know what the next will happened in the friendship of Killer Smile and me.
Killer Smile’s point of view
The truth, hindi ko binalikan ang ex ko. And to be honest, I love that girl who have a cerebral palsy. I called her CP Girl.
One night, I just realized that I loved her pero naduduwag ako at baka ano pa ang sabihin ng ibang tao.
And that moment, she said that she’s starting to like me. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko.
One thing in my mind, umalis na lang sa bahay nila. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko noong sinabi niya yun.
Parang biglang naduwag na ako. I wanna wipe her tears but could not.
After one month, wala na kaming communication. I am missing her and I want to see her again.
One day, I go to the bakeshop of her cousin. Nagbabasakali lang na makita ko siya. And I saw her but she is talking man na alam ko sobrang babae.
I am so jealous when saw her talking to the other man.
Suddenly, nakita niya ako at tinawag pa niya. Hindi ko maiwasan na lumapit na lang sa kanila.
She said, “Tagal na natin hindi nagkikita. Oh, I forget to tell you, I have a new friend. His name is Dan.”
While, habang nag-uusap kami niya umalis na si Dan. At tumawag si Tita sa cousin niya at pinapapauwi na si CP Girl.
“Hey, ako na lang mag-uuwi sa inyong bahay at maaabala pa yung cousin mo. Dala ko naman yung kotse ko.” I said to her.
Pumayag naman siya at binuhat ko siya papuntang kotse ko. At doon kami nag-usap sa bahay nila.
“Sorry kung umalis na ako agad noong huli tayong nagkausap.” I said to her.
“Wala yun. Kalimantan na lang natin yung nangyari.” She replied.
Gusto ko sana sabihin yung totoo pero hindi ko alam kung paano…
Thank God, Killer Smile and me are ok. Kahit binal1ikan niya na yung ex niya ok na sa akin yun at ayos na ako.
One day, I am not feeling well. Nilalagnat yata ako, may usapan pa naman kami na pupuntahan ako ni Killer Smile sa bahay
Nagpapahinga lang ako sa kwarto ko and suddenly slept on my bed. Hindi ko namalayan na dumating na pala siya.
He whispered at me, “Hindi ko alam kung paano sasabahin sa iyo ito, alam ko duwag ako. Ang totoo hindi ko binalikan ang ex ko.
He didn’t know that I am just listening to him, I was shocked. “Narinig ko ang lahat. Bakit mo ako niloko? Anong dahilan kung bakit ka nagduduwag?” I said to him.
“I am sorry. Hindi ko sinasadya na lokohin ka. Basta malalaman mo din ang dahilan kung bakit ko yun ginawa.” He said.
I kick him because I am angry to Killer Smile. “Umalis ka muna para mawala itong galit ko sa iyo.” I said.
Umalis na si Killer Smile. Tama ba na panalayas ko siya at nagalit ako? Ewan ko kung ano dapat ang imosyon ko.
After that, I called my cousin/best friend, “Friend, niloko ni Killer Smile ako. Sabi niya hindi pala binalikan yung ex niya at may dahilan siya kung bakit niya iyon ginawa.” I said while I am crying.
“Friend, why are you crying? Single naman talaga siya at sa tingin ko may ibig sabihin kung bakit niya yun ginawa. Kaya wag na dyan umiyak.” She said.
“Sige, Friend. Thank you. Mawawala din itong galit ko sa kanya.” I said to my cousin.
After one week, I am ok. Sa tangin ko wala na ang galit ko.
Suddenly, may nag text sa akin. Si Dan ang nag-text sa akin kinukumusta niya ako. Hanggang sa napalapit na ako sa kanya at lagi niya ako tinetext. Nagpapatulong kasi siyang ligawan ang cousin/best friend ko.
One day, Killer Smile called and my mother answer the phone. “Pwede pong makausap si *****? Kumusta na po siya?” He ask to my mother.
“Ok naman siya at heto nga laging katext si Dan. New friend niya daw iyon. Bakit hindi ka na pumupunta dito? Sana magka-ayos na kayo ng anak ko. Nararamdaman ko naman na hindi kayo maayos ngayon kahit hindi niya sinasabi.” My mother said.
“Pwede po bang pumunta sa inyo? Pero wag ninyo po assailing sa kanya.” He said.
“Oo, pwede ka pumunta dito.” My mother said.
Killer Smile went to our house. Kinausap niya ako at may dalang flowers. “Hey, sorry na. Sana patawarin mo na ako.” He said and he hugs me.
“Oo, pinapatawad ko na ikaw.” I said.
“Pwede ko ba ikaw ligawan? Kasi baka Manahan ako ng umaaligid sa iyo.” He said.
“Ikaw ang bahala. Basta ok na tayo yun ang mahalaga.” I just said.
He started to court me. I am happy we are always their for each other.
I think I am falling in love w/ Killer Smile and we have a good relationship. My parents adviced me na wag ko muna assaulting siya. But I don’t know what will happen.
One diay, Killer Smile invited us to their house and eat for dinner. We go on their house me and my family and pinakilala niya ako sa mommy niya bilang niligawan niya.
“ Mama, I am courting her. Siya lang ang nagpapasaya sa akin at ikaw.” Killer Smile said.
“Ok lang kung siya ang nililigawan mo. Basta masaya ka lang. at wag kayo magkakasakitan. Even she have a cerebral palsy, ok lang yun at magkaibigan naman kami ng magulang niya.”
And we aet, at nagkwentuhan kami. While, after we ate, me and Killer Smile go to their garden.
“Ok na ok na talaga yung parents natin. Pwede mo na ako sagutin.” Killer Smile said.
“Sus! Maghintay ka na lang. Ayaw pa nila Mama at Papa at saka bata pa ako. Natatakot din kung hindi maganda ang rilasyon natin kung sinagot na kita.” I said.
One day, Killer Smile visited me in our house. While we were talking, Dan texted me. And I replied him.
“Ano ang sabi ni Dan? Nanliligaw ba sa iyo yun?” He said.
I looked at him and he seems he’s jealous about Dan and me. I answered his questions, “Hindi sa akin nanliligaw si Dan. May problema kasi siya sa pinsan ko. Bakit parang galit na galit ka?”
“Honestly, I am jealous when you are texting him. Alam mo ba babaero yan? Kapag nakikita ko ikaw nagtetext kayo parang ang saya-saya mo.” He said w/ teary eyed.
“I am sorry if you’re jealous. Pero sana wag ka na magselos kasi ang niligawan niya yung pinsan. Nirereto ko lang naman siya.” I said to him.
Our conversation ended for that. We eat some chitchirya in our house. But one night, Killer Smile on their house for dinner. And we go there. I thought it was a simple dinner, but he surprised me in their garden. I saw a full of candles in the garden and we eat in there.
“Wow. Its beautiful. Sinong nakaisip nito?” I said.
“Ako ang malaisip niya. Why, you didn’t like it?” He said.
“Of course I like it.” I said.
While, I see a ring from his pocket and give it to me. “This ring is for you. Can you be my girlfriend? And I just want you to know that I love you.” He said.
“Yes, I can be your girlfriend and I love you too.” I said.
I am very happy that he loves me. And my love has ended here. Now, we are getting married.
- I am Kathleen Cruz, and you can call me Kat. I’m from Bataan, Philippines I’m a happy person even though I have a cerebral palsy, yet I’m normal like even though I cannot walk and I cannot move my hands easily. But I know we can be friends.
I have a cerebral palsy since birth. When my mother gave birth at 7th month of her pregnancy. I was lacking in oxygen and that’s why I got a scar in my vein.
My hobbies are surfing the net, drawing using my feet, watching TV, writing stories, poems, and talking to my friends.
My dream is to become a writer someday, and to have my own book. I hope one day my dreams will granted.